Well, if you are reading this, you likely read Scott’s previous post, “I Miss You,” a dear, sweet note to me. Maybe you’ve even looked at the comments thinking surely I would respond. I have honestly been at a bit of a loss. Of course, when I read it, tears streamed down my face. I have certainly responded to Scott…from afar, that is. And, what I realized is that I have shared my response with friends who have asked, and thought I might go ahead and share it here.
Our sweet friend, Jenna, commented the she is inspired by and hopeful for a similar relationship when she marries. Wow! That’s humbling…internally, I think, “Really??”
I must say, Scott’s beautiful note is a bit out of character for him. If you know him well, you know this. He is a kind, gentle, honest, loving man of great character and humble faith…and so much more…but not necessarily personally expressive. So, I see God in his note. Our awesome God who hears our cries and meets our deepest needs. Our God who compels us to love beyond our own capabilities.
Just a few short weeks ago, I was specifically struggling in “need” for affirmation and affection. Travel schedules, parenting, and just life in general can take their toll on our vital personal connections…at least at our house. Feeling rather needy and full of self-pity, I struggled with what to say, how to say it.
Meanwhile, I have been doing this fabulous bible study of the life of Moses. We are studying in Exodus where God is leading the Israelites through the desert, providing daily manna. They are called to eat a particular measure for each person, no more, no less, not to stock or store, but to look for new each morning, and yes, it is there. Just before this, we were looking at Passover and the Exodus, the obedience and submission God called them to. Exodus 14:13-14 says, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today...The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
So, I don’t know if I’m connecting the dots well, but God has so clearly shown me that I need to come to HIM. He is my sustainer, provider, redeemer, friend of all friends, healer, etc. What He is teaching me is to be still, to wait, to pray, to rest and to trust in Him. Certainly, we have responsibilities to each other as husbands and wives, and need to communicate about them, but we are not humanly capable of meeting each other’s deepest needs, realistically or completely. But God is.
Now, I know this isn’t a new idea. Yes, God is available and hears our prayers. Yes, He wants to hear from us. Yes, He loves us beyond measure. I could go on… The distinction I want to make is just to share His goodness in showing me that He doesn’t just want to hear from me, He wants me to COME to Him, to truly lay my life, my heart, my family, my children, my husband, my everything…down before Him, and to look to Him to sustain me.
Just today at my bible study, we talked about Moses and his father, Jethro, and their shared worship and thanks to the Lord for all He had done for the Israelite people. We heard how Jethro’s saving faith had likely come about through relationship with Moses, through Moses sharing his heart for the Lord, and his gratitude for and marvel at how God had provided, sustained, and performed endless miracles. Through our stories, through our lives, people see the Lord. Again, not a new idea…
So, it seemed fitting to share my thanks and acknowledgement of the Lord’s sweet provision. Not casually, but hopefully in a way that is glorifying to Him and humble before Him. He is good, not me, not Scott…and probably not you.
If there is anything in me that is good and right, kind and loving, pure and faithful, it is because we worship the God of Gods, Lord or Lords, the King of Kings, the Maker of the Universe, and He truly and deeply cares about every single hair on our heads. If He is reflected in any way in our marriage, our home, our family, our work, or in any other way in our lives, than I am truly pleased...and even amazed.
“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18
Thank you, Lord, for your hand upon us. You have indwelled our hearts and grown us in ways we never imagined. We are redeemed sinners, not worthy of any sort of admiration, but thankful to be your humble servants. We need your grace anew, your mercy and provision each morning. Just enough for today.
“Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 22-24
And, to Scott:
Thank you for being a man after God’s heart. Thank you for loving me with a love deeper than we can muster on our own. Thank you for sharing your life with me. I am so proud and thankful for what God has called you to. The travel and time away is just a necessary part of this awesome and unbelievably amazing opportunity to serve Him and those He calls precious. And, thanks for saying thanks. I miss you.
Love, Debbie
