aheartfororphans

China trip

I wanted to share with you the message below from my assistant Terryll who left with a team this week to serve with our partner in China...

 

A few months ago, World Orphans shared with you about our exciting new partnership in China – joining hands with Chinese believers to rescue orphaned and abandoned children. We have a team on the way this week to work alongside our partner church to reach out to the community and share the love of Christ with precious children.

 

Our partner is very active throughout China.  In addition to operating children’s homes, they are actively reaching out to local teenagers through English camps. Our partner recognizes the need for English and facilitates Christian native English speakers to come alongside teens and assist them with their conversational English. Throughout the teaching process, there are many opportunities for teachers to share their faith with these teens who are desperate to know Truth.

 

We believe that only the Gospel can transform cultures.  We believe it is the duty of the church to bring the Gospel to communities. In a culture that fosters abandonment, especially of baby girls, we want to help the church offer a new hope and truth – the love of Jesus – to rescued children and within the community, ultimately influencing and changing hearts, lives, and generations.

 

I am excited to be part of this team! We will be serving with our partner in China for three weeks. We greatly covet your prayers for our safety as we travel and that the love of Christ would be evident to all those we meet. Thank you for your encouragement through prayer and support for this important work.

Serving Together

“I want to thank you for the memorable visit of Debbie and you, it has been an honor and a privilege to receive you. The love and compassion that you shared with us will never be forgotten and will remain in our hearts and minds forever. Scott you have a perfect helpmate and we are convinced that God who is the author of lives has brought two dynamic people and fused theirs hearts on the altar of grace to become one. Scott you guys are a true inspiration to us and we are praying to the Lord to meet your precious children someday. We praise the Lord for the precious time that we spent together. Rani cannot stop talking about you guys.

Thank you Scott for allowing us the opportunity to host you, it has been a joy. We will always receive your friends and family as our own, because we honor you as instruments that God is using to change South Africa. Thank you for making this trip, it is only God who connects us in this way.

We are praying for good health and that God will provide World Orphans the resources to change the world, bit by bit.

We re-iterate that you guys have replenished us with a new zeal for the Lords work.”

This is part of a note Scott received from a pastor we visited in Durban, South Africa. We spent two days with he and Rani, his wife, learning about their ministry. They have amazing hearts for their community and serve those in need with great love and mercy. Seva has a tremendous heart for sharing the Gospel and bringing God’s hope to the lost. The have special compassion for children, and focus their ministry on these precious, helpless little ones. Our visit with them was a definite highlight of the trip.

Our time in South Africa seems to have given us a bit of a taste of what it might be like to serve together…someday. It was truly a meaningful time for Scott and me to be in the “field” together. I must say, this note we received was very encouraging toward that as well. I have heard, but have not experienced personally, how a visit can be such a gift to another. To think that the Lord would use our visit, particularly as a couple, to bless, encourage, and even strengthen others, specifically this dear couple who are faithfully ministering in so many beautiful ways, is a sweet gift indeed.

It seems that the Lord has not only knit our hearts in marriage, but in calling. I am eager...but also patient and happy to be serving at home for now.

- Debbie

Not so far away - by Debbie Vair

We’ve just spent the past two days with a church in Durban, South Africa.

As Scott and I awoke this morning, we spent little time "processing" some of what we had seen and learned.

First of all, I realize that I have known little about HIV/AIDS and the significance of its impact on Africa. South Africa has one of the highest infection rates in all of Africa. The specifics vary between townships and areas, some up to 80-85%. One pastor told us of a testing clinic for teenagers. Of every 20 children tested, 16 are positive, and sometimes 18 or 19. At a glance, this is a statistic, in a community, this is a tragedy.

Consider the possibility of 8 out of 10 people you know being HIV positive. Many of you likely know more about what that means than me. Consider the implications in a community of people with limited access to medical care or medications or even understanding of the importance. Consider having to choose to use your extremely limited resources to feed your family or to buy medication. Consider the implications of a diagnosis that carries great stigma, the likelihood of rejection, being outcast from your family and community, and therefore, the incentive to ignore the likely diagnosis and consequences. Consider, at 55 or 60 years old, living in poverty, taking on the care of your grandchildren, maybe 2, maybe 4…but only after burying their parents, your children.

If you look at a community with an 80% infection rate, and know that the "grannies" (the older generation) are not infected, you have to wonder what percentage they make up. And, as you look to the two younger generations – the sons and daughters and their children…what is the rate of infection for those babies and young children, born to two infected parents? I understand it is possible to limit the transfer of the disease from mother to child, but only with proper medication. It is not an absolute, but very likely that most children of the youngest generation are HIV positive. What does that look like in 10 years, 20 years? I’m simply overwhelmed. I can only weep for them, for now. I will pray too, for their well-being, for change, for God’s mercy, for His hope for them…and put my hope in eternity, where there will be no sickness. I can’t explain it otherwise.

Consider a 13-year-old mother, a prostitute, abandoning her 18-month-old son, leaving him with a friend, a "granny" she knows will find her a home thru the church. Consider a mother, age unknown, leaving her 8-month-old daughter behind at a hospital where she (the mother) has been receiving medical care for HIV/AIDS. Maybe she knew she would die soon and had no other option…

These two children were taken into the church’s children’s home the day before we arrived – Kwanda and Imbali.

(image: Kwanda)

(image: Imbali)

Being with these two children…and others…especially holding little Imbali, made me think of when I first held our Norah, wondering, imagining what was going on in her head and heart at that moment. Scott said, seeing me with Imbali reminded him of the same – he said she had that same "look on her face." The clear difference being that I couldn’t take Imbali home with me, although I might have, given the opportunity. She absolutely stole my heart. So dear, so sweet, so quiet and agreeable. What we know from our little bit of education through our adoption is that quiet isn’t really just "content baby"…there is more going on there. It was such a sweet gift to be able to hold her and love her for just a bit…I hope in some way God can use that to comfort her.

I will pray for her, and maybe even cry when I remember her.

The church has taken her in. She will be loved and cared for, but not by her mother. She will be nurtured, educated, and even well-fed, which is so much more than many will have. She will also likely be diagnosed with and suffer from HIV/AIDS, or maybe the ramifications of long-term drug treatment.

Then there’s Phillip. He’s two now. He was left with them last year. He’s doing very well, other than they know he is HIV positive, as are his older brother and sister, also in the home with him. And 10-year-old Zama. Denied a hospital bed three years ago, because there was nothing left they could do. Now, through proper medical care, nutrition, and nurturing, she’s attending school again. They say she is not well, that she may only have a short time to live – maybe one year, maybe two or three.

(image: my new friends)

On one hand, South Africa is very far away from home. A world away. But it doesn’t feel so far away when you are here. Right here, right now, my new friends…are dying. It doesn’t seem so very far away when you’re holding a baby, or holding the hand of a young child with a playful, happy grin. It doesn’t seem so far away when you sit in the 10x10 home where they just lost their 21-year-old son to AIDS…right there in their home. Right there where a makeshift memorial sets – a candle, a blanket, a shirt , maybe the shirt he was wearing, maybe his favorite, maybe mom’s favorite. It’s not that far away.

 

(image: home visit)

I just don't get it

I have now been to over 25 countries serving with World Orphans and I’ve seen some amazing things. I’ve felt the highs and lows. The highs of seeing children rescued and the lows of children begging. The highs of children signing and laughing and the lows of children crying in pain. I’ve visited slums in Africa, Asia and Latin America. I’ve seen a lot.

But I have never seen this.

Before leaving Cambodia, we stopped at the local dump, hearing there were kids scavenging through trash. Our driver stopped at the entrance, unable to drive to the active dumping site. We got out and hiked over the hill, nauseated by the smell. What I saw I will never forget - families, including children picking through rancid, disgusting garbage.

I stayed long enough to take some pictures, completely overwhelmed by emotion, feeling helpless. I had to leave.

I walked back the way I had come, head down. As I approached the van, a child, maybe 4 or 5 year old, naked as can be, ran up to me and hugged me. Some things I just don’t get.

 

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Faces

We awake our first morning in Phnom Penh, Cambodia and take a walk to the tourist’s district just up the street from our hotel. We see a number of bars, restaurants, coffee shops, hair salons and brothels. I’ve been told Cambodia is a sex trade destination, and in only short time I see a 60 year old white guy walking with a young lady from Cambodia, we are uncertain if she is Cambodian or Vietnamese.

We meet with our ministry partner who explains more of the situation. There is an estimates 2 million Vietnamese living on the waterways and Mekong River from Siem Reap down through the Phnom Penh on floating houses. Clusters of boats form small communities, a floating school, a floating temple, a floating church here and there.

Poverty in these Vietnamese communities is so bad that parents sell their children into the sex industry. They are sold like a commodity - for their virginity (around $300) and then again later into a brothel (an additional $300). He then tells us that 70% of the girls in these Vietnamese communities will be sold into the sex industry.

70%?

I was stunned. Absolutely staggering, despicable, horrific. Over the course of the day I would see more white men with young women, now obvious why they were together. At dinner, at a "respectable" restaurant, we were offered a girl along with an after dinner drink. It is everywhere, it is repulsive.

The next morning we travel to see the river community, to visit a floating school. We are greeted by smiling, laughing, lovable children - many are girls. They are beautiful. They are innocent. Many will be sold, likely 70% of them.

I am heartbroken. I look back at their pictures, which will be sold? These aren’t statistics, these are children, and some will be sold. They will be raped. They will become property. It is horrible.

We are determined to get involved at the prevention stage, to be a part of saving children before they are sold. Education and skills training are key. The goal is to help children become valuable to their families, to help a child be in position to earn money rather than be sold for it. We formed a good partnership and the process has begun to identify churches to start vocational training programs on church property - sewing classes, beauty salon training, leatherworking, etc. I am hopeful the process will move forward quickly.

In the meantime, please look at the faces below. These are some of the children who need help. They need the church. They need our prayers. Please help me pray for them.

 

 

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It’s not supposed to be this way

Our time in China was awesome; we finalized a partnership with a great ministry. My dream of a World Orphans project is China will come true.

It wasn’t an easy time for me though, I must admit. As I mentioned in my previous post, this is an emotional issue for me, and some of the information I learned on this trip didn’t help.

While none of these figures are verified (that’s no easy task in China) they do come from sources I trust.

There are an estimated 20 million orphans in China (even though the government only admits to 500,000). Assume for a moment that all 20 million of those children are single orphans (which is certainly not the case), meaning that they have lost only one parent and that the other is living. Assume further that all 20 million of those children still live with their surviving parent. That means, best case scenario, 20 million children have only suffered the trauma of losing a parent.

The reality is that many many of these children have lost both parents. They’ve not only dealt with the trauma of losing both parents, but face the uncertainty of where they will live, who will care for them, where their next meal will come from. Many will be forced to fend for themselves, live on the streets, beg for food, or steal to survive.

And then there are the abandoned ones, babies too young to even eat without help. These are the girls, the disabled, the unwanted. It is estimated that up to 90% of babies abandoned don’t live to see their 1st birthday. Many die before they are found, left in a box in extreme heat or cold. Others die in the "care" of the state. The disabled children are especially vulnerable. As my friend told me, your daughter is one of the 10% that made it.

Abandonment of girls is still very real. Some women, after they discover they are pregnant go to live with relatives in another city, so the pregnancy remains a secret. If the baby is a boy, great, mom and child return home and everyone is happy. If it’s a girl though, she is cast aside, abandoned. Premeditated abandonment.

Nine months of planning:

Where will I abandon her? A market? Outside a Post Office?

What will I put her in? A box? A Basket?

Should I leave a note?

Will someone find her before she dies?

Think I’m exaggerating, ultrasounds are illegal for fear of abortion if the sex is determined. Abandonment of girls is still very real indeed.

Yes the children of China are close to my heart. It’s not supposed to be this way. Children aren’t supposed the face these obstacles, their supposed to be loved and cared for. Moms and Dads aren’t supposed to abandon their babies. Governments are supposed to do more. People are supposed to care.

Did I mention how glad I am we’ve found a partner in China? It will be an honor to walk with them, to raise funds for them, to serve with them, to make a difference with them. They do care.

I remember

I write this as we approach Beijing knowing it won’t be posted for a few days until I have internet access…

My mind and heart are flooded with memories and emotion…

17 months ago Debbie, Trevor, Charlotte and I approached Beijing for a few days of sightseeing before meeting our Norah for the first time…

I remember the Great Wall, Charlotte a Barbie-like spectacle

I remember touring the Forbidden City, Charlotte again the center of attention

I remember lunch outside the Forbidden City, the best Kung Pao Chicken I’ve ever had

Then it was off to Hong Kong to meet up with our travel group and friends before heading to Guangzhou where we would meet our Norah…

I remember seeing her for the first time, fear and uncertainty in her eyes

I remember Debbie holding her for the first time, kissing her, assuring her all was well

I remember Norah’s tears and how her new big brother held her, rocked her, soothed her, calmed her

I remember holding her on the bus as we left to return to the hotel

I remember her falling asleep in my arms, at long last holding my baby

Tears run down my face as I remember one of the happiest days of my life. Our family complete thanks to the grace of God; it is truly amazing how He puts families together. Our adoption of Norah, this particular child, was no accident. Seventeen months later I’m more sure of that than ever.

It will be strange walking around Beijing without my family, but exciting to think World Orphans might be able to partner with an orphan home in China. That we might have the opportunity to help other girls like Norah. I can think of no place I’d rather us work than in China. A piece of my heart will always be here.

I will never forget

SE Asia

Tomorrow I leave for SE Asia on a 2 week trip to explore new partnership opportunities in China, Cambodia, Thailand, Burma, Indonesia, and the Philippines.

Many are familiar with the trials children face in these countries. While our own children sleep safe in their beds, young girls are abandoned, sold and preyed upon. Young boys are snatched up and put into armies, forced to kill.

But in the midst of it all stands the church, ready, willing and able to act.

At World Orphans, we use a growing network of in-country ministry partners to identify churches. As we look to expand our work in China, Cambodia and Burma we’ll meet with these ministries in hopes of getting introductions to churches that have a burden to care for children. We’ll also meet with area leaders from Compassion International as we continue to expand our partnership with Compassion churches in Thailand, Indonesia and the Philippines.

We seek your prayers - for travel mercies, divine connections, favor during meetings and protection for my family while I’m away. I’ll be blogging along the way, so please check back.

Just Enough for Today

Well, if you are reading this, you likely read Scott’s previous post, “I Miss You,” a dear, sweet note to me. Maybe you’ve even looked at the comments thinking surely I would respond. I have honestly been at a bit of a loss. Of course, when I read it, tears streamed down my face. I have certainly responded to Scott…from afar, that is. And, what I realized is that I have shared my response with friends who have asked, and thought I might go ahead and share it here.

Our sweet friend, Jenna, commented the she is inspired by and hopeful for a similar relationship when she marries. Wow! That’s humbling…internally, I think, “Really??”

I must say, Scott’s beautiful note is a bit out of character for him. If you know him well, you know this. He is a kind, gentle, honest, loving man of great character and humble faith…and so much more…but not necessarily personally expressive. So, I see God in his note. Our awesome God who hears our cries and meets our deepest needs. Our God who compels us to love beyond our own capabilities.

Just a few short weeks ago, I was specifically struggling in “need” for affirmation and affection. Travel schedules, parenting, and just life in general can take their toll on our vital personal connections…at least at our house. Feeling rather needy and full of self-pity, I struggled with what to say, how to say it.

Meanwhile, I have been doing this fabulous bible study of the life of Moses. We are studying in Exodus where God is leading the Israelites through the desert, providing daily manna. They are called to eat a particular measure for each person, no more, no less, not to stock or store, but to look for new each morning, and yes, it is there. Just before this, we were looking at Passover and the Exodus, the obedience and submission God called them to. Exodus 14:13-14 says, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today...The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

So, I don’t know if I’m connecting the dots well, but God has so clearly shown me that I need to come to HIM. He is my sustainer, provider, redeemer, friend of all friends, healer, etc. What He is teaching me is to be still, to wait, to pray, to rest and to trust in Him. Certainly, we have responsibilities to each other as husbands and wives, and need to communicate about them, but we are not humanly capable of meeting each other’s deepest needs, realistically or completely. But God is.

Now, I know this isn’t a new idea. Yes, God is available and hears our prayers. Yes, He wants to hear from us. Yes, He loves us beyond measure. I could go on… The distinction I want to make is just to share His goodness in showing me that He doesn’t just want to hear from me, He wants me to COME to Him, to truly lay my life, my heart, my family, my children, my husband, my everything…down before Him, and to look to Him to sustain me.

Just today at my bible study, we talked about Moses and his father, Jethro, and their shared worship and thanks to the Lord for all He had done for the Israelite people. We heard how Jethro’s saving faith had likely come about through relationship with Moses, through Moses sharing his heart for the Lord, and his gratitude for and marvel at how God had provided, sustained, and performed endless miracles. Through our stories, through our lives, people see the Lord. Again, not a new idea…

So, it seemed fitting to share my thanks and acknowledgement of the Lord’s sweet provision. Not casually, but hopefully in a way that is glorifying to Him and humble before Him. He is good, not me, not Scott…and probably not you.

If there is anything in me that is good and right, kind and loving, pure and faithful, it is because we worship the God of Gods, Lord or Lords, the King of Kings, the Maker of the Universe, and He truly and deeply cares about every single hair on our heads. If He is reflected in any way in our marriage, our home, our family, our work, or in any other way in our lives, than I am truly pleased...and even amazed.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

Thank you, Lord, for your hand upon us. You have indwelled our hearts and grown us in ways we never imagined. We are redeemed sinners, not worthy of any sort of admiration, but thankful to be your humble servants. We need your grace anew, your mercy and provision each morning. Just enough for today.

“Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 22-24

And, to Scott:

Thank you for being a man after God’s heart. Thank you for loving me with a love deeper than we can muster on our own. Thank you for sharing your life with me. I am so proud and thankful for what God has called you to. The travel and time away is just a necessary part of this awesome and unbelievably amazing opportunity to serve Him and those He calls precious. And, thanks for saying thanks. I miss you.

Love, Debbie

I miss you

This is my seventh trip in 2008, by the time I get home I will have been out of the country for 70 days. If you count a couple days a in preparation and 5-6 days to try and get back to a sleep pattern of some sort, I was either coming or going over a third of the year. That’s a lot, and one of my goals for 2009 is to have more predictability and to cut back a bit.

Most of the travel has been fairly manageable thanks in no small part to my amazing wife and her unique gifting to be able to raise our children despite all the coming and going. Debbie is loving, compassionate, sacrificial, intelligent, and very capable. In some sense she probably has an easier go of it when I’m not around to mess things up. Even though we have a growing desire to travel and serve cross culturally together, I think we have a healthy perspective of our roles and calling.

This morning I woke up in Durban, South Africa and I can tell it’s going to be a tough trip. I had no sooner settled into my seat for the 14 ½ hour flight from Washington to Johannesburg, than I began to miss Debbie. I communicate fairly regularly with Debbie while I’m away by text messaging. It’s inexpensive and allows us to stay somewhat connected. Consequently, I end up missing the kids more than I do Debbie because I have very little interaction with them.

I sense this trip is going to be different. I really miss Debbie already, even with the text messaging. I suspect it has to do with the fact I’d only been home from my last trip for 3 weeks and that time was very busy and we had little quality time together.

All that to say…

Debbie, I miss you. I love you and want you to know how grateful I am for you. I am honored to be your husband and privileged to have you as the mother of our children. You are my best friend and the love of my life. You challenge me (in a good way) and you have an amazing faith. I can’t wait to get home and begin our vacation, which is long overdue. Thank you for who you are and all you do.

Love,

Scott